Oddities

Facebook Drug Task Force Will Begin Monitoring All Messages October 1st

Tuesday August 19th, 2014 03:28:14 PM Jimmy Rustling

Menlo Park, CA — The Facebook Drug Task Force or FDTF, will begin monitoring all Facebook postings and messages of its users for drug activity beginning October 1st. Chairman and chief executive of Facebook, Inc., Mark Zuckerberg, spoke with CNN about the FDTF. “The task force was created to keep users of Facebook safe,” Zucckerberg said. […]

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Facebook Drug Task Force To Begin Operating October 1st

Monday August 18th, 2014 05:44:29 PM Jimmy Rustling

Menlo Park, CA — Beginning October 1st, Facebook will be implementing a drug task force designed to arrest those who buy and sell narcotics while using the online social networking site. Facebook is calling the group the Facebook Drug Task Force, or FDTF, and will be monitoring all postings and messages created by its users. […]

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Woman Stoned To Death For Working On The Sabbath; Church Takes Bible Literally

Saturday August 16th, 2014 12:49:53 PM Jimmy Rustling

Huntsville, AL — A 31-year-old pregnant woman, wife and mother of three, was brutally murdered after she was seen working on Sunday, or the Sabbath, by a fellow member of the church. Brandy Hull, a devoted member of ‘Paul Church’, a church which takes the Bible literally, was working at ‘Hank’s Bass Pro Shop’ on […]

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Pot Hat

Wednesday August 13th, 2014 05:14:44 PM Jimmy Rustling

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Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

Thursday August 7th, 2014 04:38:53 AM Jimmy Rustling

Creve Coeur, MO — A federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization claims that another federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization has violated their intellectual property and is now suing for millions. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and their parent organization Stop Masturbation Now have accused Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Shark of using the same name of their famous dolphin […]

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President Obama Raising The Minimum Drinking Age To 24 In October

Tuesday August 5th, 2014 04:05:32 AM Jimmy Rustling

Washington, DC — In a press conference at the White House today, President Barack Obama announced his controversial decision to raise the minimum drinking age from 21 to 24 years of age. “We need to work harder to protect the young people in this country,” Obama told reporters. “Our young folks are dying from alcohol […]

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Governor Jan Brewer Pardons Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin For Masturbating In Public

Sunday July 13th, 2014 03:56:44 AM Jimmy Rustling

Phoenix, AZ — Arizona Governor Jan Brewer announced her controversial decision today granting a full pardon to 35-year-old Phoenix resident Paul Horner, known to his thousands of followers as Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. Horner made world news last month after his ironic arrest for public masturbation. “I did a lot of soul searching before making […]

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Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

Tuesday July 1st, 2014 09:44:29 PM Jimmy Rustling

Phoenix, AZ — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation organization was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The group recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, […]

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First Gay Marriage To Be Held At The White House

Tuesday June 17th, 2014 06:29:50 AM Jimmy Rustling

Washington, DC — In what is being dubbed as the “Wedding Of The Century”, openly-gay football star of the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam and his long-time boyfriend, Vito Cammisano, are to be married at the White House, with President Barack Obama overseeing the Muslim themed event. At a press conference on Saturday, Obama spoke […]

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Clay Aiken Shot In The Face

Saturday May 10th, 2014 03:00:55 PM Jimmy Rustling

New York City, NY — The Twittersphere is in a buzz with hashtags such as #AIKEN4EVER and #AIKENSHOTINFACE, after former “American Idol” star Clay Aiken was found dead with an apparent gun shot to the face. Police are ruling out suicide as the bullet entered through the glass window of Aiken’s New York City Penthouse. […]

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