Oddities

Westboro Baptist Church Suing Funeral Protesters Of Fred Phelps

Friday March 21st, 2014 05:43:08 PM Jimmy Rustling

“Any f*gs that wanna come out and protest my dad’s funeral better be ready for a lawsuit,” Fred Phelps‘s son, Timothy Phelps told CNN on Friday. The threat of a lawsuit comes two days after the death of the Westboro Baptist Church founder. Phelps’ son, confirmed to Kansas’ WIBW that Phelps died “before midnight” on […]

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Russia Awards Olympian 2nd Instead Of 1st Because He Is Gay

Tuesday February 11th, 2014 04:37:03 AM Jimmy Rustling

SOCHI, Russia – For about five seconds on Monday, Jan Smeekens was an Olympic champion, hero to a nation, and all that goes with it. Until, gut-wrenchingly, he wasn’t, just because of his sexuality. As Smeekens crossed the line at Adler Arena in the men’s 500-meter long-track speedskating and glanced up at the clock, it […]

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Russia Announces Gay Task Force To Patrol Winter Olympics

Wednesday January 29th, 2014 07:59:09 PM Jimmy Rustling

Sochi, Russia — The President of Russia, Vladimir Putin, is making headlines once again about his controversial stance concerning the gay community. This time Putin has announced a gay task force that will be patrolling the winter games in Sochi, Russia all of next month. Vladimir Putin told reporters, “It was not Adam and Steve, […]

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Drugs In Colorado: New Deadly Strain Of Marijuana Turning Users Gay

Monday January 20th, 2014 08:03:17 AM Jimmy Rustling

Denver, CO — Just when you thought the drug problem in Colorado could not get any worse, law enforcement officials are now reporting incidents of marijuana users turning gay. “We’ve never seen anything like this,” said Dr. Paul Horner of the Barrow Neurological Institute. “The drug users in Colorado are injecting a strain of marijuana […]

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Dogs Fed Dennis Rodman In Critical Condition After Poisoning

Tuesday January 7th, 2014 07:13:42 PM Jimmy Rustling

Pyongyang, North Korea — Fifty-four North Korean dogs were hospitalized in critical condition today after becoming violently ill. The hounds were found with unknown toxins in their blood that doctors say are a direct result from eating Dennis Rodman. At a press conference this afternoon, White House spokesman Paul Horner told reporters he does not […]

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12-Year-Old Divorces Parents Over Wrong Christmas Present

Tuesday December 31st, 2013 08:11:12 AM Jimmy Rustling

Phoenix, AZ — A 12-year-old girl successfully divorced her parents on Monday after receiving a Christmas present that was not on her wish list. Steve Middleton from Middleton and Associates who represented the girl, told reporters outside the Phoenix Municipal Court that he was pleased with the judges decision. “This was a clear case of […]

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Samsung Pays Apple $290 Million Fine With Quarters – 90 Semi Trucks Full Of Them

Monday December 23rd, 2013 09:19:18 AM Jimmy Rustling

Cupertino, CA — This morning Apple’s headquarters in California received quite the surprise when 90 semi-trucks filled with quarters arrived at their front entrance. Initially the security company that protects the facility told the drivers they were at the wrong place. Minutes later, Apple CEO, Tim Cook, received a call from Samsung CEO, Kwon Oh […]

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‘Duck Dynasty’ Phil Robertson’s Gay Lover Speaks Out For The First Time

Thursday December 19th, 2013 11:20:22 PM Jimmy Rustling

OUT, a popular gay and lesbian magazine, announced it will be publishing an exclusive interview with Phil Robertson‘s alleged gay lover of 12-years. The magazine released a preview of the upcoming article to various media sources today. “Phil’s always trying to hide me from the media. I like to blow on Duck whistles too,” 35-year-old […]

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California’s Mega Millions Winner Comes Forward

Wednesday December 18th, 2013 08:01:14 AM Jimmy Rustling

San Jose, CA — This morning lottery officials were pleased to announce that the second winner in Tuesday night’s Mega Millions has come forward. That lucky person is 35-year-old Paul Horner from San Jose, California. He is the winner of the $636 million jackpot, the second largest in history. Mr. Horner won by correctly matching […]

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Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Withholding Food From Inmates For The Holidays

Friday December 13th, 2013 11:08:26 AM Jimmy Rustling

Phoenix, AZ — The controversial sheriff in Arizona, Joe Arpaio, is once again making national headlines. This time the sheriff is refusing to feed inmates for the holiday season beginning the morning of December 25th and ending midnight on December 31st. The sheriff is also putting a halt to all commissary sales during these days. Prisoners […]

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